Postpartum depression can be tough and can get worse if not dealt with quickly. This post will share 6 ways you can deal with postpartum depression.
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Postpartum depression is one of the toughest things I have experienced after giving birth to Ayah. For those who do not know what postpartum depression (PPD) is – it is said to be a depression that parents experience after having a baby and usually happens in the first year of birth. According to the NHS website, 1 in every 10 women experiences PPD in the first year.
I wanted to write this blog post because I wish I had a guide on ways I could have dealt with PPD when I went through it. Luckily, I was able to figure it out myself by finding what works and what doesn’t. Just to mention, all the points I will be highlighting on how to handle postpartum depression will not be medical treatment or advice. The tips will be things that you can do yourself and at home to help you feel better. If you are needing medical advice or treatment please visit the NHS website to see what help is available.
I want to share my story of what I went through and how it affected me so hopefully someone can resonate and know that they will get through it. It will take time, and you will need to try a few different things (for example the things I will be listing) to see what works best for you.
This post is all about ways you can deal with postpartum depression.
Postpartum Depression
My Postpartum Depression Story
Three days after coming home from the hospital, I started to see some signs of PPD. This happened when we decided to go out for some fresh air and get some food shopping done. We planned to leave the house at noon and ended up leaving at 3 pm because we did not realise how long it takes to leave the house with a baby. This made me feel so anxious and just before we left the house I started crying nonstop. And that is when I realised PPD started for me.
There are a few signs of postpartum depression and the ones I experienced were random crying, loss of appetite, withdrawing from contact with other people, and feeling a sense of grief. The feeling of grief and loss confused me. I would wake up every day feeling as if I’d lost someone and couldn’t figure out who. It took me a few weeks to realise that the feeling was caused because I felt like I lost myself.
It took me a while to realise what helped me with my PPD, what made me feel better and what made my anxiety better. After I realised what worked, It got better for me. It does take some time for it to completely go, even though some say it goes after 2 weeks. This is wrong as everyone is different and experiences PPD at different levels of severity.
Below are a few ways that have helped me get through postpartum depression and I hope that it will make a difference for you too. Just know that it is a phase and you will get through it.
If you are a first-time mum, make sure you check out my previous blog post on 10 things you should know as a first-time mum.
How To Treat Postpartum Depression
1. Talk To Someone
This one may sound obvious but it is the hardest one. I didn’t want to talk about how I felt or what having a baby made me feel like. This was because I was afraid people were going to think I didn’t love my baby or didn’t want a baby. That was far from the truth. I was so in love with her but at the same time I felt like I was losing myself.
I decided after a while to speak to my husband and my dad about how I felt. Opening up to my dad was the hardest but I am so glad that I did because talking to anyone that you trust can help significantly. Telling my husband and my dad about how I felt helped them know how to help me. And this is why it is so important to talk to someone.
It is also very important to speak to whoever will be with you beforehand about what postpartum depression is and how you are more likely to go through it. This can help them prepare themselves for what is to come and expect it. This can make a massive difference. I remember I spoke about PPD to my husband during my third trimester. This helped him expect and know what could happen after having Ayah.
However, this does not mean you do not speak about it after having a baby. It is so important to tell your partner or whoever is with you about how you feel because this is how they will know how to help you.
2. Have Self-Care Days
Self-care days are so important for me. Self-care days are days or even hours that I get to myself to do things I love that help to take care of my mind and body which help me to feel like myself again.
As mums, we tend to forget about ourselves as we are always too busy looking after our children. But one thing I learned during my phase of PPD is that if we don’t take care of ourselves then we won’t be able to look after our loved ones the best way we want to. Having a few hours to yourself can help you recharge and destress. And overall this can help with postpartum depression.
I have a blog post on a few things you can do at home to help you destress and help you feel good mentally and physically.
3. Go For A Walk
I have a love and hate relationship with this one. But the reason why I wanted to mention this one is that it helped with my PPD. Any form of movement/exercise would help with anxiety, depression or stress! The reason why I am mentioning a walk rather than exercise is that during the beginning after giving birth you are unable to exercise.
One of the main reasons going out for a walk helped with my PPD was because it helped me clear my mind and thoughts. As soon as I would get home I just immediately felt better. I never knew why that was until I did my research. I found out that any form of exercise, including walking, helps your body release a happy hormone called serotonin.
It may be hard on the days when your little one is crying a lot whilst on your walk. This is normal so don’t ever feel like you are failing or you’re not doing anything right. We all go through this. My best advice would be to go for a walk somewhere near your house so it’ll be easier for you to go back home. Letting these tough days get to you, from my experience, can slow down the process of trying to manage your postpartum depression.
4. Gratitude Journal
If you’ve read my other blog posts you are probably thinking why do I keep mentioning a gratitude journal? But that is because it works! Using a gratitude journal came later for me and I am so grateful that I discovered it.
Starting your day and ending your day with gratitude will help you appreciate the little things in your life. The way it helped with my PPD is by starting my day with writing what I am looking forward to during the day and my affirmations. It helped remind me throughout the day that there is so much to look forward to. And the affirmations I kept repeating in my head helped when my anxiety and depression would get worse. For example, when I felt like I was running out of time to do things (time anxiety) I would constantly repeat in my head “I have enough time to do everything I need to do”. I still do this today and it sometimes makes a HUGE difference.
Evening gratitude is my favourite. And this is where I felt like it helped with my postpartum depression. The reason for this was because the question that is asked in the journal (every journal varies) is what good thing happened today. We don’t always have good days. And we tend to go to bed feeling like we had the worst day ever. I believe this can affect our mood the next day. However, during those bad days thinking about at least one good thing that happened that day can help you see that it wasn’t all bad. And this will result in you sleeping in a better mood which in turn will mean that you will start the next day better.
Gratitude Journal
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5. Do What Makes You Happy.
This one will vary and so I can’t tell you exactly what to do but I will share what I did.
Breastfeeding was making me so unhappy during the 2 weeks that I was breastfeeding. I struggled and felt like I was failing as I wasn’t producing enough milk even though I was told that I was but I know I wasn’t. And this was because I wasn’t eating or drinking and was struggling with PPD.
Breastfeeding completely drained me out so after 2 weeks I decided to stop. Although I felt super guilty, deciding to stop made me so happy and guess what that led to? Me being a better mum to Ayah! So do things that will make you happy despite what people may say or think because you are not being selfish. Your mental health matters the most because if you do not take care of yourself first you will not be able to take care of your little one.
6. Surround Yourself With Loved Ones
Not everyone may have loved ones in their lives anymore or near them. This is why I left this one till last because there are so many different ways you can treat postpartum depression at home.
But if you do have loved ones whether that is your family, in-laws, friends, or partner then surround yourself with them as much as possible. My biggest regret is isolating myself which made it so much worse for me. Surrounding yourself with loved ones will not only take your mind off things. But it’ll make you enjoy life a bit more, make you feel loved, and make you feel like you have a support system.
Not being around your loved ones or having support is one of the causes of PPD. This is why if you have loved ones around you then you need to surround yourself with them.
Can Men Get Postpartum Depression
The answer is yes, men can get postpartum depression.
This one shocked me a little because I never knew that men can get postpartum depression – and I know a lot of people don’t know this either. There are so many ways men can experience postpartum depression but one of the most common signs – which a lot of mums would have noticed in their partners but never acknowledged as postpartum depression is financial pressure.
Men naturally know and feel that they need to be able to provide for their families. But when they know that a little one is coming it can be tough on them as they start to think about how can they make more money.
It is very important to help your partner through this by communicating with them, validating their feelings and ensuring that they get the support they need. Men’s mental health is just as important as our mental health. If you are both going through it together you can both follow some of the steps I listed above.
Check out this article to learn more about male postpartum depression.
I hope you found this useful and helps you through your postpartum depression journey. And remember, you are not alone in this journey.
Lots of love, Mariam x
This post was all about ways you can deal with postpartum depression.
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